Medicare card holders are busier than you think. They go to more funerals than they did before reaching retirement age. I know. I have a Medicare card.
I still subscribe to the weekend edition of our town’s newspaper. Truth be told, it’s mostly to read the obituaries. The rest of the stuff is easily accessible on multiple media platforms.
I’m fascinated by the myriad venues to honor those who have passed:
Church
Graveside
Funeral Home
In a home
Moose Lodge
Veteran’s Hall
Restaurant Banquet Room
Along a Riverbank
Did I miss any? I have noticed some are foregoing a service of any kind.
Then there’s the names for services:
Funeral Service This one is the most familiar ritual. The service is often preceded by an opportunity to visit/view the deceased in a visitation room prior to the service. Sometimes these are the day before and other times they’re on the day of. When arriving for the funeral service, you get a leaflet telling about the deceased and the service itinerary. A casket is usually present, with a burial following the service. It’s common to have some kind of reception at the end.
Graveside Service These can share some of the same elements as a funeral, just abbreviated. The eulogy is typically shorter than at a funeral service as is the invitation for sharing. There might be recorded or live music. And like funerals, the service usually ends with a prayer.
Memorial Service or Celebration of Life can be held with or without a church affiliation. A family member or friend might speak on behalf of the deceased. Other times it’s a pastor. They often include sharing by family and friends, a slideshow of the loved one’s life, followed by a meal. A casket or urn is not usually at these services. When held in a church and facilitated by the deceased’s pastor, there is typically a message of faith infused into the service.
Military Funeral is a service to honor a military member whether they died while serving or had served earlier in their life. Common for this ceremony is playing of “Taps”, folding and presentation of the American flag to next of kin, and a 21 gun salute.
Let me know in the comments any details I omitted. Thanks.
Yesterday, I attended what I think would be described as a Celebration of Life. It was held in a Veteran’s Hall. The deceased was a retired Marine. A perpetual slide show looped. It included photos from early childhood to shortly before his passing at age seventy. My favorite parts of services held outside of a church are the slide show and the sharing from family and friends, especially when the service is for someone I didn’t know well. It provides me a glimpse into how they spent their years and what they valued most.
And with all services, it’s great to see people I haven’t seen in years, sometimes decades. Though time and distance has separated us, reconnecting and recalling our past is comforting. Oftentimes they’re the only ones with whom you can “remember the time when”.
There’s a name for people like me. I’m a reflective person. I’m that person who might go over an experience in my mind numerous times. Unfortunately, I’ll admonish myself for something I could have said or done differently. Did I say goodbye to so and so? I don’t think I did. Now what should I do? And then the cortisol rises.
On the way home from any service, I’m drained. Though I intended to run an errand later, it doesn’t happen. I need time to process, time to reflect, time to digest all I saw and heard. This includes imagining what my own service would include. I guess I could write out my wishes, but I won’t be there anyway.
But, I do think about it. I want mine to be a celebration of my homecoming. As a Christian, I want others to know I’m home. Once I became a Christian, I had an address change. I’m still here, for now. But, one day I’ll be with Jesus and all those who call Him friend.
Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
I've been to many services where in place of a casket or urn, there is a very flattering framed photo of the deceased.
I don't really know what I'd want. I don't know that I care much, as it will be for the ones I leave behind, not me. I've considered, though, writing a letter to have read at whatever service happens. Seems appropriate that my voice, via my written words, would be at my party.